


Honey This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Both of Us

by FallenfromReality



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV), The Umbrella Academy (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Vanya Hargreeves, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Pregnancy, Protective Allison Hargreeves, Protective Diego Hargreeves, Protective Luther Hargreeves, Protective Number Five | The Boy, Protectiveness, Sibling Bonding, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vanya Hargreeves Deserves Better, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Vanya Hargreeves-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29473617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenfromReality/pseuds/FallenfromReality
Summary: All her life Reginald Hargreeves had told her she was sterile, a side effect of the illness she'd had as a child. Something that even the medications she'd been taking her whole life wouldn't be able to help her with. Well, turns out that, just like everything he told her was a lie.Now on top of new powers, new emotions, and a crumbling relationship with her family, she has to deal with an unplanned and unexpected pregnancy. Can she do this alone or will her family find a way to help her?
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Grace Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves & Everyone, Vanya Hargreeves & The Hargreeves
Comments: 35
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys, 
> 
> I wanted to take a little break from the angst fest that is the sharpest lives, to give you a little slice of life fic (there will still be some angst because I'm an absolute monster), and write a fic that's been on my mind for some time! I don't know why but I love the idea of Vanya being a mom! Also, just love any excuse to write bucket loads of sweet family goodness! I hope you enjoy! This first chapters going to be a short one, but I promise they'll be a lot longer in the future!

She can’t help but laugh as she looks down at the little plastic device in her hands, the double pink lines and the little smiley face, seeming to mock her. After all the lies, why should she be surprised at one more? First her powers, her ordinary life, the medications, and now it looks like she isn’t actually sterile. 

Lovely. 

“Never imagined anyone would want to sleep with ordinary little Vanya, did you dad?” She asked the air around her as her laughter steadily morphed into tears, “Or maybe you put something in those pills to prevent any unwanted accidents.” 

She shouldn’t be surprised, but somehow, she was. The sobs that tore through her, her ribs aching with their force, and the way her breath seemed to catch in her lungs made it impossible to deny. How even now, after everything, she thought there were lines that Reginald Hargreeves wouldn’t have crossed. Lines that Mom and Pogo would have stopped him from crossing. Some part of her still thinking they loved her. Still hoping that they had looked at her and seen a child not a monster. 

Why did she keep believing in the people who hurt her? The people who let her be caged, and rumored, let her live most of her life in a drugged stupor. Unable to feel anything but numbness. 

Sometimes she missed being numb. 

She could hear the rain starting outside, big fat drops slamming against her window in tandem with her tears, and the lights flickered ominously. The heavy smell of ozone leaking around her as if any moment the storm might burst through the windows and surround her. Her arms wrapped around her stomach, as if she could hold in the force of her feelings, but it only reminded her of being smothered in the arms of her brother. Her breath coming faster as the world around her started to spin. 

Control. She needed to get it under control. 

If she didn’t no doubt they would come for her. Come to lock her up again in the basement cell. Come again to cut her powers off at the source. They hadn’t hesitated to aim their knives and their bullets at her. Even five had wanted her dead in the end. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to let them. But it wasn’t just her anymore, was it? No, as she stared down at the little smiley face, her arms tightened. She couldn’t let them punish her child for her sins. 

She wouldn’t let another child’s life be ended before it really began. 

Slowly, she forced herself to take a deep breath, holding it as she counted backwards from ten, then releasing it. She did it again and again, until the rain outside faded to a gentle sprinkle and the lights hummed above her steadily, no more flickering or blinking. She stood, washing her face off as if it might hide the blotchy redness of her face or the dark purple bruises under her eyes. 

“Okay, you can do this,” She told the figure in the mirror, “We need a plan, first we need to call to get an appointment with our OBGYN, then we need to notify the director of the orchestra.” 

The incident at the orchestra had been labeled a freak earthquake, and somehow none of the orchestra members seemed to remember anything about Vanya glowing or armed gunmen bursting into the room. In fact, the only thing anyone seemed to remember was how well she’d preformed at the show. Orchestra halls across the city and the state had offered to host them while the theatre was being rebuild, funds from various charity events paying for the damages, and after a two week break to recover they had been on and off the road since. 

Thankfully, they only had another two months of performances and then they were off for their six-month break. She doubted she’d be showing by then, and she knew David, the conductor, adored her so much at this point that he would do everything in his power to help her come back for the next season.  
Probably the only good thing in her life at the moment. Overnight it seemed she had become a star in the orchestra world. Music had always been her home, and with it she was learning to control her powers. 

Though many reviews called her performances glowing, and utterly entrancing, no one seemed to realize she actually glowed on stage. 

She would have to hide it from everyone else though. Her siblings had shown their faces at one of her performances, and she had security escort them out the minute she saw them. David had no problem blacklisting them, and until Allison’s voice fully recovered, she couldn’t rumor her way in. She’d even moved apartments, after days of endless knocking and pleading at her door, she packed her meager belongings, called a real estate office and had her old property listed on the market. It sold by the end of the business day, and she bought herself a small two bedroom closer to the orchestra hall. She paid in cash and had it purchased through a secondary company to keep her name off the purchasing documents. Turns out you could get a lot done if you had a bank account full of checks from your rich father that you’d never cashed.

After everything the very least Reginald could do for her was to pay for her to start over. For once she didn’t even feel guilty taking his money. 

As for her siblings, she simply didn’t want to see them. 

Not after they’d locked her up. Not when she nearly killed them, and Mom. Not when she thought she’d killed Pogo. They’d left her voicemails and texts for weeks after, she only listened to one, it was Klaus telling her to come home. That Pogo was fine, and they’d fixed the damage to the academy. 

She deleted all the rest, and not to long after that she got rid of her old phone number and upgraded to the latest android model. 

Now she only had orchestra members numbers in her phone, and the psychologist she made herself start seeing after she stumbled blindly out of the theatre and away from her siblings. Even she knew she needed help. Dr. Baker had taken it all in stride, from her powers to her aversion to medications after what had been done to her and helped her create coping strategies. 

Turns out feelings were hard when you’d spent 25 years not having them. 

Dr. Baker had to replace her picture frames and mugs for weeks before she just started drinking out of Styrofoam and invested in canvas prints of her pictures. Vanya tried to pay for it all. But Dr. Baker had insisted it wasn’t her fault and that she was being paid well enough to replace a few knick knacks. 

She’d have to tell Dr. Baker too. Who knows what pregnancy might do to her emotional state. But first, she needed to actually verify that she was pregnant and figure out how far along she was. 

In the first few weeks following the incident, she had sex with a lot of nameless, faceless people, just trying to wash the feeling of Leonard off her skin. 

It hadn’t worked. 

Just left her feeling more dirty and ashamed than before. 

She forced herself to breathe again, just thinking of Leonard was enough to send her pulse skyrocketing, somehow his body had never been found. But she remembered it all so vividly. How desperate she’d been for him to love her, and then how the red haze of betrayal had taken over when she found out the truth.

Better not to think about it. 

She picked up her phone, and dialed, “Hello, yes, I’d like to make an appointment to see Dr. Reade, I need to confirm a possible pregnancy.” 

Thankfully, the receptionist didn’t ask any questions, and simply scheduled her for the next day, “No, that’s all, thank you for getting me in so quickly.” 

Apparently, it was a lot easier to get an appointment when you were pregnant. It used to be weeks to get in to have a pap smear done. Should have gotten pregnant sooner, she laughed at her own shitty joke, and then went to put the kettle on. She needed tea and time to process. 

She knew she was taking this a little too well. 

Avoidance, Dr. Baker would say, she was avoiding the implications of this because she didn’t really believe it. But who could blame her? When you spent your entire life thinking you were sterile, and then, just like everything else in your life, that turns out to be a lie. Until she got official confirmation tomorrow she didn’t need to think about it.  
Still, as the kettle started to heat up, she picked her phone up again, and texted Dr. Baker, Do you have any space for an emergency session tomorrow after 10am?

Within seconds her phone chimed, Of course, Vanya, I have a window between 1 and 2 tomorrow. I had a cancellation, would that work?

Yes, that would be perfect. Thanks. 

Is everything okay?

Not sure yet, but I’ll tell you about it tomorrow. Before you ask, yes, I’m doing my breathing exercises. 

Good, if you need anything don’t be afraid to message me before your appointment. Have a goodnight Vanya.

Thanks.

She sighed, putting her phone down, and getting her tea ready. She reached for the chai, before remembering that caffeine wasn’t good for babies, and reaching for her favorite chamomile instead. 

Oh god. 

She wouldn’t be able to drink coffee if she were pregnant. 

How the fuck was she supposed to survive without coffee? Deep breath, deep breath, you don’t even know if your pregnant for sure yet. Don’t panic yet. 

She’d have all the time in the world to panic tomorrow. Today, she would drink her tea, watch another episode of New girl on her brand new tv, and then go to sleep. As Dr. Baker always said, wait until you know for sure there’s a reason to panic, and then we can figure out solutions instead of worry about the possibilities. 

She could do that. 

Just had to get through the night and then she’d figure out what to do in the morning. It would be okay till then.


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya has her appointment, goes to see her therapist and has a fantastic lunch! Just another day in the life of a extra-ordinary violin prodigy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I just want to thank everyone for reading, leaving kudos, and commenting on this story! It fills me with joy every time I get a notification! This story is my pleasure project, and my attempt to do something a bit more up-beat and slice-of-life than my normal stories! So, I'm happy that people are enjoying it so much!   
> You guys are the best readers, and I hope that you continue to enjoy this story with me!

The next morning, she got up and got dressed as if it were any other day. Since the almost apocalypse, she liked to think she’d developed a sense of style beyond the lesbian lumberjack look she’d rocked out of a pure desire to melt into the background. Her newfound emotions and powers making her desperate to establish a sense of identity after years of apathy towards everything in her life.

It had started with her going to home goods and running into Lilian, a girl she’d picked up at the bar a few nights prior. Thankfully, Lillian had given her a few great décor tips, even though Vanya had turned down her offer to see her again when she’d left Vanya’s apartment. Lilian’s firsthand knowledge of the space Vanya was working with made things even easier.

So, Vanya had acquired a tapestry, some cute planters with tiny succulents she not-so-secretly adored, a fuzzy rug for her bedroom floor, and a comforter that wasn’t white.

It ended up being one of the softest things she owned. 

She might have also added Lilian’s number into her phone. Turns out there were no hard feelings, and they’d met for coffee and shopping a few times since. That had been the start of Vanya’s renaissance. Slowly her new apartment had acquired paint on the walls, the artwork her students made her accumulated on her fridge, and she acquired a small army of little plants to decorate her window sills and tables.

Her students and their parents had commented favorably on the change. More than one student asking, to the horror of their parents, if she was going to change her clothes next. She’d gotten herself a few hefty tips off those comments, and her students had been extra diligent following their slip ups.

To their credit, their comments had made her question herself, and her clothing. For as long as she remembered she’d picked her clothing purely on how well it hid her from the world. Picking big pieces in muted tones that she could easily match in the mornings. The only items in her closet that she really enjoyed were the suits she wore to concerts.

Now, after a month of acquisition, she had clothing that she felt fit her. Leather jackets, next to boxy suit jackets and sports jackets. Band tee’s, tailored dress shirts and knit sweaters matching up with basics made in the softest cottons, and leggings sharing space with well hemmed dress pants. She also had jeans in every color, and even a pair of leather pants the sales lady at Zara had convinced her she absolutely had to have.

The irony that none of this would fit her soon if she was pregnant didn’t fail to amuse her.

It would mean more shopping, something she dreaded despite how nice the store employees were to her, and for a second she wished Allison were there. Not only because she missed her sister and could use the support of one of the only females in her life. But, also, Allison had been pregnant, she knew what Vanya would need and the things she would be going through.

She could almost picture it. The two of them shopping together, sharing smiles as Vanya modeled some ridiculously colorful outfit Allison demanded she try on.

Unbidden, tears fogged her vision, because that would never happen.

Vanya wouldn’t allow it to. Of all her siblings, Allison was the only one she stayed away from to keep safe. The others had locked her up and tried to kill her, even five who had always been her closest friend. It hurt too much to think about, and she just didn’t want to deal with them. But Allison had watched her concert with a serene smile on her face, even after Vanya had nearly killed her, and she’d argued with Luther to try to free her from the prison in the basement.

Vanya couldn’t risk hurting her again.

“Stop being stupid,” She hissed to herself, “You can’t change it, and if you don’t get dressed, you’re going to be late to your appointment.”

Violently scrubbing the tears from her cheeks, cursing her new emotions and already blaming the baby for worsening her volatile emotional state, she picked out her softest leggings and a creamy cashmere sweater. If this appointment was like the movies, she knew it would involve her belly being slathered in jelly and prodded. This outfit would keep her comfortable and allow for easy access to the parts in question.

With that she pulled everything on, ran a brush through her hair, and put a small amount of mascara on her lashes. She liked the way it made her brown eyes seem bigger without making it obvious that she had makeup on.

Satisfied with her appearance, she left her apartment, stopping by her favorite café down the street to grab a cup of tea and some breakfast. They made all their baked goods in house, and their blueberry muffins were her favorite thing on earth. As always, the Barista Sam, greeted her with a warm smile and asked how her day was. She always tipped well, and after near daily stops here for the past three months she’d established friendships with the majority of the staff.

Though Sam was her favorite. 

They always had a smile on their face that got bigger and bigger the more regularly Vanya showed up, and they were the first one to comment on Vanya’s new style. Even recommending nail polish colors to match the new colors she wore. She still loved it when they wore purple nail polish because it was the shade, they were wearing the first time the two of them really talked. The first time she had really spoken to anyone about something so light and frivolous after things went down with her siblings and the would-be apocalypse.

They also felt so familiar, reminding her of Klaus in all the best ways with their vibrant clothing, and flare for dramatics. When she first changed her everyday style, they had hyped her up, nearly losing their mind the first time she showed up in one of her casual suits.

It had been the first time she felt confident and content in as long as she could remember.

She made sure to slip a few extra dollars into the tip jar when they manned the counter as a silent thank you for their kindness, “How’s our favorite musical genius today? Are we getting our usual? A mocha latte with a blueberry muffin?”

“I’m actually trying to cut back on the caffeine, do you all have any herbal teas?”

“Is the world ending?” They joked, mock horror on their face, “Or are you, my three-shots of expresso on a bad day, actually turning down caffeine.”

She laughed, “I know, its crazy, but my doctors been concerned about my intake lately. So, I figured I’d give tea a try.”

“Well, if the good doctor says so,” They winked, pulling down a small tray of tea with a flourish, “You can have you pick darling, we have ginger lemon, honey chamomile, and citrus kiss. The others all have caffeine in them, I’m afraid, personally the ginger lemon and the chamomile are my favorites.”

Ginger was supposed to be good for upset stomachs, right? The last week or so had been a constant battle with nausea, and even now the smell of Sam’s cologne, something she usually enjoyed, had her gut rolling.

“I’ll take the ginger lemon, can I have some honey with that as well, and a blueberry muffin.”

“Well, at least somethings never change,” They set the teas down, and took her card, “Now if you just wait for a second I’ll have this ready for you in just a second.”

Turns out it was a lot quicker to put hot water in a cup with a tea bag than it was to prepare her normal order, and before she knew it she was wondering to the bus stop with a warm cup in her hands and a half eaten muffin in her bag.

Maybe she could have wallowed in her misery a little longer this morning.

At this rate she’d be almost thirty minutes early to her appointment. But better early than late in her book. Reginald had made sure all of them adhered to strict schedules, and it seemed like Klaus was the only one of them who truly rebelled against the concept. The rest of them seemed to be like her, preferring to show up before they were expected.

Her stomach seemed to settle as she waited for the bus, the ginger working wonders on her nausea. So, she finished the rest of her muffin, and for once felt no need to run to the nearest waste basket to empty her stomach after eating.

She just might have to make the ginger tea her new thing in the morning. She liked the sharp citrusy tang of the tea, and the warmth it provided helped to fend off the lingering chill of the morning. Her bus arrived shortly after she finished her tea, she gave the driver a friendly greeting, and took a seat a few rows behind her, letting the quiet thrum of voices buoy her as they got closer to her stop.

A gentle breeze rustled through the bus as she got off, her nerves making it harder to keep her powers from leaking into the world around her, but her control was enough to keep it under the radar. She rarely lost complete control of her powers these days.

Dr. Baker had given her many tools to help her control her worst emotions. As anger, fear, and sadness were the emotions most likely to cause her powers to react violently.

Anxiety just whistled through the air around her, creating a melody with the branches of the trees above her and the trash that hadn’t quite made it into the bins beside her. The breeze chasing away the stench of the garbage sitting on the sidewalk, and the lingering haze of gasoline from the petrol station across the street.

It made the short walk to her doctor’s office much more pleasant, a real smile pulling at her cheeks by the time she opened the doors and walked in. Her anxiety replaced by the simple joy her powers brought her when she indulged them.

“Hello, do you have an appointment today?”

She wasn’t familiar with the woman at the desk, Dr. Vasquez must have gotten a new secretary since she’d last been here, “Oh yes, I have a 9:15 with Dr. Vasquez, should be under Vanya Hargreeves.”

The secretary, Amanda, if her name tag was to be believed, smiled at her, “Yes, I see it here, well Vanya Dr. Vasquez is with another patient right now, but she should be out to get you shortly, okay? Do you mind taking a seat while you wait?”

“Not at all, thank you,” She gave the woman a small smile, before taking a seat in the moderately crowded waiting room. There was a heavily pregnant woman in the corner, a toddler hanging off her arm, and two other middle-aged women seated nearby. The smell of baby powder, and perfume clung to the room, making acid burn the back of her throat.

She tried to breathe in shallowly through her mouth to distract herself. Her eyes trailing the toddler, a boy, who broke free from his mothers grasp and raced across the room towards the small play area in the opposite corner. The woman tried to call him back, but he paid her no mind as he searched through the small bin of toys, and eventually pulled out a racecar. Which he immediately shoved onto the carpet, clumsily pushing it this way and that. His mother just watched, clearly not having the energy to chase him. Not that Vanya could blame her. The poor woman looked massive and uncomfortable.

She looked down at her own stomach and tried to picture herself that large.

It didn’t seem as if her stomach would be capable of stretching that much. At least she hoped she wouldn’t get that big if she were in fact pregnant and not just the victim of a stomach bug that had lasted for a few weeks.

The toddler continued his antics until a nurse opened the door and called her name. Vanya shot the mother a small smile, before getting up to follow the nurse. She was weighed and her vitals were taken, nothing seemed wildly out of her normal range, no massive red sign forming above her head to proclaim her pregnant.

At last, the nurse settled her on an exam bed, paper crinkling as she shuffled onto it and settled awkwardly to wait. No sooner had she settled her hands across her stomach and closed her eyes, then a knock sounded, “Can I come in?”

She never really understood why doctors bothered asking, they were always in the process of opening the door and entering before anyone could actually respond to their question.

“Hello, Vanya, how are you doing today?” Dr. Vasquez, her brown eyes twinkling as she settled into the rolling chair beside the bed, “Can you tell me about what brought you in today? I hear we think that we’re pregnant.”

Vanya gave a shallow smile, her anxiety returning at full force, “I’m doing okay, I’d been feeling off for the past few weeks, feeling really tired and nauseous all the time. You know that I was told from a young age that I wouldn’t be able to have kids, but I decided to take a pregnancy test yesterday. I’ve been more sexually active than normal, and the test came back positive.”

“Okay, well we can do an ultrasound, and if you like we can also go ahead and do an STD test. Just to make sure everything’s okay on that front,” She liked Dr. Vasquez, she never judged her or acted as if anything Vanya told her was outrageous, “And I’ve found in my time here, that a lot of women are told they may have difficulty bearing children when they’re younger, only to discover that this is not the case.”

Most women probably didn’t have a father feeding them medication that would help prevent said pregnancies. But she tried not to think about it.

“Sounds good, do I need to change?” The nurse had told her she could keep her clothes on for now, but if they were doing an STD test that may not be the case. Dr. Vasquez shook her head, “We’ll start with the ultrasound, which can be done as you are, and then I’ll step out and let you change before we do anything else, okay? Now, I’m going to have you lay back and lift your shirt for me. I’ll warn you now the ultrasound gel can be cold, so try not to jump.”

Vanya did as she was asked, settling back into the bed, and lifting her sweater to reveal her stomach to the world. Dr. Vasquez brought over the machine from the corner and squeezing a glob of cold gel onto her stomach, before picking up a handheld device, and pressing it into her stomach. At first nothing happened, and Vanya thought she was in the clear. Her heart slowing down as the doctor moved the device over her abdomen, not finding anything, but then a steady swishing sound filled the room, and Dr. Vasquez started to smile, “Well, Vanya, it looks like you are pregnant, the heartbeat sounds strong, I’m going to take a few images and we will do some measurement to get you a proper age on the baby, okay?”

Vanya nodded, but she barely heard what Dr. Vasquez said, too focused on the gentle hum of her babies heartbeat. It felt like a miracle. Tears rolled down her cheeks, but for once she felt no need to hide them. Love like she’d never felt before pulse through her veins.

She was having a baby.

Her. Vanya. Number seven. Harbinger of the apocalypse, and musical prodigy.

She couldn’t believe it, but now she had concrete proof. She would be adding mother to her growing titles soon, and somehow it felt like the most important one. Already she knew that she would lay the world at her child’s feet if they asked. She thought she’d be terrified, horrified, at the thought of being a mother. But right now, all she felt was excitement.

“Alright Vanya, I’m going to turn the ultrasound off for now, but I promise I’m going to give you some pictures to take home. Are you going to be alright by yourself for a few minutes?”

The sudden silence as the ultrasound turned off, and her babies heartbeat fell away, startled her, but she gave a watery smile, “I’ll be okay, thank you.”

Dr. Vasquez just smiled back, leaving the room without another word, leaving Vanya alone with her thoughts. Her hearing was significantly better than the average persons since she got off her meds, and she strained to see if she might be able to hear her babies heartbeat without the machine. She thought she heard the faintest rattle from her stomach, but the sound was overcome by all the other noises around her competing for her attention. The chatter of people in the waiting room, the howls of a child in the midst of a temper tantrum, the squeal of tires and the hum of the street, all of it made it impossible to isolate one single sound among the masses.

But it did keep her distracted until the door opened again to admit Dr. Vasquez, “Alright Vanya, it appears that you’re about thirteen weeks along, which means your entering your second trimester already. On top of the STD panel, I’m going to run some other labs to make sure all your levels are good for your current stage. I shouldn’t be surprised at how small your bump is, most women your size stay fairly small until near the end of the second trimester where they seem to just pop one day. So, I expect you’ll follow the trend, but I’ll give you a list of dietary recommendations before you go. We generally encourage a weight gain of fifteen to twenty five pounds during pregnancy. You’ve gained about three pounds since your last appointment with us, which is perfectly normal for your first trimester. From here, we will expect to see about a pound gained every week through the remainder of your pregnancy, okay?”

She just nodded, it was a lot to take in, but she would make sure that she got copies of everything before she left. She did better with written information. It was easier for her to process than things said to her.

An hour later she left the office, a band-aide in her elbow, and a lingering soreness between her legs from the pap smear. She also had a hefty stack of paper in her arms, between dietary recommendations, other health and exercise moderations, and general information on pregnancy, it felt like she was carrying a ten-pound weight in her arms.

But most importantly, she had a series of black and white photos in her wallet.

She only had about an hour and a half before her appointment with Dr. Baker, so she decided to go to the store and look around before her appointment. Dr. Baker’s office sat in a nice little block of shops and offices that held a bookstore and a few small clothing boutiques. As well as a nice little mom and pops diner that had the best soup and sandwiches Vanya had ever eaten. The fact that the older Russian woman, and her husband, who owned the shop, had practically adopted Vanya the first time she went, might have something to do with her obsession. Irina, and Sergei were beyond adorable, and their youngest daughter Natasha, a Ballerina with the famed New York Company, had taken a liking to Vanya as well.

Vanya had a serious weakness for bossy red-heads.

Not that Natasha would be interested in her now, but she counted her amongst her small group of new friends. Irina, surely, would be happy to give her advice on her pregnancy. Irina had carried at least five children that Vanya knew of, and all of them seemed to have done well. At a minimum, Natasha would enjoy teasing her when she got big, and Sergei would try to fatten her up even more now that she was carrying a child.

“I’ll stop by after my appointment,” She promised herself as she wondered into one of the boutiques near the office. An elegantly dressed brunette sauntered up as soon as she walked in, “Hello, can I help you find anything today?”

“Actually, I was wondering if you guys had any baby clothes or maternity clothes?” Couldn’t hurt to look at least, when she first found out Allison was pregnant all those years ago, she’d loved shopping for tiny outfits and little baby shoes. Not that she ever got the chance to give any of it to Claire, as Allison hadn’t bothered to answer any of her calls, and all the packages she sent were returned unopened.

But this time she would be shopping for her own baby.

The little flutter of excitement in her gut got bigger when the sales lady gave her a soft smile, “We do, here, follow me.”

She quickly led Vanya to a section in the back of the store filled to the brim with a variety of baby clothes, shoes and accessories, “Not to brag, but our onesies are the softest around. We have them hand made and sent here from the country, we even have hand knit booties and the softest towels this side of the country.”

Vanya nodded, her eyes already fixed on a tiny onesie embroidered with Winnie the Pooh, as a child mom used to read all the Winne the Pooh books to them. Without thinking she reached out and pulled it off the rack, the soft texture of the cotton caressing her fingers, “Wow, they really are soft.”

“I’m glad you think so, if you have any other questions I’ll be right over there, okay?”

“Yes. Thank you,” Vanya said with a small smile, forcing herself to look up at the saleswoman before she walked away. As soon as she was gone though, Vanya grabbed the other two Winnie the Pooh themed pieces off the wall, and to her delight there was a small pair of baby booties in a soft cream that went with them perfectly. She even found a baby hat with little ears that matched in all. All the tension drained out of her as she searched through the items. Touching everything with a sense of wonder in her heart. The softest breeze rustling the items around her and brushing her hair away from her face.

Just holding it all her made her feel so happy.

She let herself wonder through the isle, stopping to marvel at different outfits and pieces. Though none of them grabbed her as hard as the things she already had in her hands, and after nearly an hour passed, she went to the register to check out.

After her appointment, she would take the time to make a list of all the things she’d need and start to pull out a little more money from her trust to pay for the modifications to her apartment. She didn’t know a lot about babies, but she knew that her apartment would need some work to be baby ready.

For now, though, this was enough to mark the occasion.

She chatted with the saleswoman while she rang her up, and then took her purchases as she headed for the door. She had about twenty minutes till her appointment, and Dr. Baker never minded if she showed up early. She’d cancelled her lessons for the day and didn’t have rehearsal until six. So, with nothing pressing to do, she walked towards Dr. Bakers office, taking the elevator for once, greeting Selene, Dr. Bakers office manager with a smile as she settled into one of the couches in the waiting room. Her small bag, and her papers clutched tightly in her hands as if someone might take it from her.

Shortly after she arrived, the door before her opened and Dr. Baker stepped out followed by a tall man who seemed hunched into himself. She patted his shoulder, and sent him towards Selene, before turning to survey the waiting room, her eyes almost immediately findings her, “Well now, there’s a sight for sore eyes, come on Vanya the rooms ready for you.”

Dr. Baker held the door open as she walked over, and Vanya couldn’t help but smile. The calming scent of lavender and honey that always emanated from Dr. Baker calming her instantly.

As usual, she chose the plush pink chair by the window, and surveyed Dr. Bakers office; with its floor to ceiling windows, it always seemed bright and open. The subdued creams of the walls complimented by the blush pink chairs, and the large cream sofa with patterned pillows strewn across its surface. Her desk was covered in tiny knick knacks and small plants that gave the room a homey feeling. All of it a perfect fit for the tall middle-aged brunette before her, as always Dr. Baker looked elegant in a pale blue wrap dress, silver jewelry glittering in the sunshine.

All in all, everything about this place soothed her.

Dr. Baker shut the door behind her, and moved to sit across from her on the other chair, “How are you doing today, Vanya? I know you asked for an extra session, and I want to make sure you’re in a good place to talk today.”

“Actually, I feel pretty amazing,” She let out a laugh, “Though I think that shock might be stopping all the panic from really kicking in right now.”

Dr. Baker sat forward, her rich green eyes warm as she focused on Vanya, “Well I’m happy to hear that, but what is it that’s making you so sure that you’re going to be panicking? We’ve been working hard on your emotional control, and I haven’t seen or heard of you spiraling in weeks.”

Vanya blushed, “Well, you know when I first came here, I was using sex as a coping mechanism in an attempt to feel close to people. And to forget he-who-shall-not-be-named.”

“Yes,” Dr. Baker agreed, a small smile on her face, they’d decided early on that being able to distance herself from Leonard when they talked about him helped to lessen her instinctual response. So as a joke Vanya had called him lord Voldemort one session, and for some reason it stuck. Bringing some levity into an otherwise rather traumatic situation.

She sighed, “Well, it turns out that assuming your sterile, and not being strict about condom control isn’t the best idea when you haven’t confirmed with a professional that you can’t have kids. I had an ultrasound this morning, and I’m pregnant.”

She couldn’t help the massive smile that spread across her face, not realizing that her powers were quite literally giving her a gentle glow as happiness burned within her, “It’s crazy, but for some reason I’m really excited about this. Dad told me from a young age that I’d never be able to have kids, so I just never even let myself imagine it, ya know? But now, all I’m doing it imagining it, and I want it. I know I should be an anxious wreck about this, and I probably will be at some point. But it doesn’t feel like a bad thing.”

To her surprise Dr. Baker beamed at her, “Oh Vanya, I’m so happy for you, you deserve to be happy and to have the chance to be a mother. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being excited about this. Remember, just because something may cause stress down the road, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it in the moment. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or others,” She paused, grabbing a note pad and a sleek metal pen off her desk, “And we can work to set up some strategies now to prevent you from panicking later.”

“Being prepared is the best defense against ourselves.”

She glanced up from the notepad, her teeth glistening as she grinned, “Exactly, because being a mom is stressful. No one is going to lie about that, being pregnant can be very overwhelming as well, but we are going to do everything we can to negate the worst of it. Now, before we get into the nitty gritty of all that, have you given any thought to your family or telling them?”

Her smile died as the chair creaked ominously beneath her, the light dimming, “Well, I’m already planning on talking to David tonight after practice, and I’m going to be telling the Romanoff’s and Lillian soon too. But no, I’m not currently planning on telling my family.”

She looked away, Dr. Bakers open face too much, and turned to stare out the window, watching as dark clouds began to form in the sky, “What’s the point? I don’t want them in my life, why would I want them in my child’s? What if they have powers and the family decides they’re too dangerous too.”

“You wouldn’t even consider telling Allison?”

Dr. baker always made it sound so reasonable. But things with her family were so insanely, _unreasonable_ , that it made her brain hurt.

“No, she has her own problems to deal with, and she probably wouldn’t want to see me,” The barrage of texts and messages from her before she changed her phone number said otherwise. But she couldn’t deal with that, “Allison needs to be protected from me.”

“Does she?” Again, Dr. Baker sounded so calm, it almost annoyed her, “Vanya, I know it doesn’t always feel that way, but you’ve been working hard to control your powers. Even now, its not raining, the clouds are already lightening, and you haven’t come close to break something in over a month. When you first came to me, we couldn’t get through a session without an explosion. I think you need to let go of this guilt you are carrying.”

She felt a hand grasp hers, and swung to look at Dr. Baker, who leaned towards her now face serious, “Vanya, we’ve talked about it before, but what happened with Allison was an accident. You were in an incredibly bad situation, having just unlocked memories of a traumatic childhood event, and were confronted by one of the main players in that scene. You had no control and were being emotionally manipulated by a man who wanted to foster a divide between you and your family. If Allison appeared now, would you hurt her?”

Vanya stood, brushing off Dr. Bakers hand, “Never, I would never hurt her again.”

“Then, why are you having such a hard time forgiving yourself? From everything you’ve told me Allison doesn’t blame you either.”

Hurt and anger burned inside of her, “But the others did, and I don’t blame them. I could have killed her.”

“But you didn’t, and while I can’t speak for your siblings, it seems like all of you were under extreme emotional duress. Everything happened within a twenty-four-hour window, and all of you experienced a barrage of intense physical and emotional trauma. Do you really think they would have behaved the way they did if they had time to think about their actions?”

She turned away completely, as if she could distance herself from this conversation, arms unconsciously wrapping around her stomach.

“I don’t know.”

That was the truth. All her siblings had tried to reach out to her, calling, texting, and showing up at random times to bang on her door begging to be let in. Five had threatened to teleport in, it was the only time Vanya spoke to any of them, telling him that if he did, she would never forgive him.

She never let them in though.

Never listened to the voicemails or read the texts. So, convinced of what they’d say, and so hurt that her entire family had been willing to lock her up and kill her.

But she’d always been the odd one out.

She’d done her fair share of hurting them, mostly with her book, but she’d made little effort to connect with them after she left. Still, it felt safer this way, less risk of hurting herself or hurting them if they just never saw each other again.

“What would you do if you were me? There’s so much bad blood between us all, a lifetime of hurt and pain. Am I so terrible for wanting to push them away?” She turned back to look at the doctor, realizing for the first time that tears were leaking down her cheeks. But no rain pattered against the windows, so she wasn’t completely losing it.

Dr. Baker gave her a gentle smile, sadness glittering in her eyes, “Of course not Vanya, you’re not terrible at all, you like the rest of us are just hurt. Everyone deals with that differently, and you can’t judge yourself based on what I or anyone else would do in your situation. I just want you to really think about this. Raising a child is hard, and while you’ve made incredible progress on building yourself a support network, I just want you to consider whether or not you truly want to cut your family off completely.” Dr. baker dropped the subject after that, and they spent the rest of the session going over basic strategies for the coming weeks. Dr. Baker also requested that they schedule additional appointments to co-inside with her doctor’s appointment from there on out. Her next one was a month from now, so it would be easy to schedule an extra session on top of their regular weekly appointment.

Despite the emotionally turbulent session, she left Dr. Bakers office feeling okay. They’d laid some good groundwork and got some resources for her to check out that would help her in the long run. While she’d been given a lot to think about, she felt better with a plan, and knowing that Dr. Baker would be there to help her throughout her pregnancy.

Now to get herself some lunch, the sunlight burned bright again as she walked towards her favorite café, the smell of homemade bread and rich spices warming her as she strode in. An older woman, with deep red hair with silver highlights framing her face looked up, a smile erupting as soon as she realized who wanted in, “Vanya, милый, it’s so good to see you. Sergei,” She called towards the kitchens, “Our little Vanya is here.”

“Hello Irina,” A blush dusting her cheeks, before the apocalypse, she couldn’t recall if anyone had ever greeted her with such warmth, and it always made her feel indescribably happy, “How are you today?”

Irina ducked out from behind the counter, opening her arms to pull Vanya into a hug, the scent of spices and roses engulfing her, “Oh I’m wonderful, милый, just so happy to see you again. You’re looking good,” Irina drew back, her hands lingering on Vanya’s shoulders as she took her in, “Looks like you need some soup though and some of our famous Borodinksy. I’ll have Sergei pack you a loaf to take home after you eat.”

As if on cue, an absolutely mammoth man burst out of the kitchen, his harsh features softened by a massive grin, “маленькая птица, you’re here,” Irina moved just in time for Vanya to be swept up in Sergei’s arms, she always protested but she loved it when they hugged her, “We have worried! Where have you been?”

She laughed, giving Sergei a gentle pat, relishing the smell of pine and soft spices that always trailed him, “I was here just last week-”

“You usually come at least twice, and it’s almost Friday, we worry, you know this,” Somehow, the gruffness of his accent, which on someone else might sound intimidating, only made him sound like a teddy bear. He gave her one last squeeze before releasing her, “But we forgive you, now, go sit down and we bring you something to eat.”

She hadn’t picked her own meal here in almost two months. Irina and Sergei had declared after her first few visits, that they knew exactly what she needed.

They hadn’t been wrong once.

So, she let them, enjoying the feeling of being cared for. No one in her life except for Mom had ever made her feel that way, and with mom it always felt a little double edged. It wasn’t as if Mom chose to care for them, she’d been programmed to do so.

Irina and Sergei though, they cared for her because they wanted to.

It made a world of difference.

“Now, my little милый, while big bear cooks, tell me what’s on your brain?” Irina slid into the seat across from Vanya, keeping one eye on the shop door in case someone came in, “You seem happy but also lost in thought.”

No doubt Irina had sensed it the minute Vanya came in, “Well, I just found out I’m pregnant.”

Sometimes the best thing to do was just to say it, and from the absolute shock on Irina’s face it had been the way to go. Watching her face morph from pure shock to utter and complete happiness melted her heart. Irina’s crows feet danced as a smile wider than any Vanya had ever seen on her face grew, “Oh, Vanya,” Irina’s hands reached out to grasp hers, the gentle scratch of her callouses almost soothing, “A child is the greatest treasure. Do you know how old the baby is?”

“Thirteen weeks!”

“I knew something was different,” Irina’s grin turned devilish, “I told Sergei you seemed different but he said I’m crazy. Show him to doubt him!” As quickly as it came though, the devilish glint faded, and softness took over again, “We will send you home with extra food today, and I won’t hear a thing about extra money. No twenties in the tip jar, милый, you let us take care of you now. Do you want to tell Natasha yourself? I know you two trouble makers text when you think I’m not looking.”

“Yeah, I’ll text her before practice,” Natasha usually got out of practice around the same time Vanya’s started. So, they often sent little messages to each other during that time.

Nodding, Irina gave her hands one more squeeze, “We will expect you here twice a week from now on, no more skipping days, okay?”

Vanya nodded, and allowed herself to settle in to enjoy the food that would be coming soon. Tonight, she would text Natasha, and Lilian, and talk to David after practice. Maybe after all that she would think about getting in touch with her siblings.

Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again lovelies,   
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! I love imagining Vanya building herself a life now that she isn't being drugged into oblivion. I want to make it clear that Vanya's always been capable of making friends, and connections, but that the drugs kept her in such a place where she wasn't able to grasp the opportunities she'd had prior to make them. So having her make friends, and build herself a make-shift family is really important to me!   
> And feel free to judge me, I'm 100% inserting black widow into this story, obliviously she's not going to be a superhero in this story. But I couldn't resist! I think everyone could use a bossy red-head in their lives, at least my friends seem to think so, and Vanya especially could use a badass friend in her life!   
> Really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'm going to do my best to upload a new chapter twice a month on this story, as my other story is slated for one a week updates. Trying not to totally drown myself between them!   
> Lots of love to you all, stay safe and I hope you have a great week! 
> 
> P.S. For anyone wondering about the Russian, Irina called Vanya sweetheart, and Sergei calls her little bird. Just terms of endearment for their favorite little customer!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, feel free to leave comments or kudos if you enjoyed the story! I'm always open to suggestions, so if there's anything in particular that you'd like to see let me know!  
> lots of love,  
> Fallen
> 
> P.s. Does anyone know how to get italics on AO3? I tried to italicize the texts between Vanya and Dr. Baker but it wouldn't let me do it! I'm struggling!


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